March 21
Why We Learned to Strive Instead of Trust
We struggle with trust, not because we are spiritually flawed, but because we were conditioned to survive in a fallen world. Many of us learned that trust was unsafe—that people let you down, circumstances fall apart, and life often doesn't go as promised.
So we adapted. We built strategies that helped us function:– Competence– Control– Perfectionism– Over-responsibility– People-pleasing– Emotional self-protection– Religious performance– Hypervigilance– Endless self-evaluation.
These coping mechanisms were developed in childhood—ironically, because our trust was damaged at that time. They were efforts to feel secure in environments where our safety or emotional needs were uncertain.
Later, when we embraced faith, we unintentionally carried these strategies into our spiritual lives. And so, we end up with Christians who love God deeply but cannot find rest. Christians who believe the gospel but live as spiritual orphans.
Christians who trust in salvation but struggle to trust the Father every day.
Trust must be relearned—like a second language returning to memory.
Becoming Childlike Again: Pages 28-29
We struggle with trust, not because we are spiritually flawed, but because we were conditioned to survive in a fallen world. Many of us learned that trust was unsafe—that people let you down, circumstances fall apart, and life often doesn't go as promised.
So we adapted. We built strategies that helped us function:– Competence– Control– Perfectionism– Over-responsibility– People-pleasing– Emotional self-protection– Religious performance– Hypervigilance– Endless self-evaluation.
These coping mechanisms were developed in childhood—ironically, because our trust was damaged at that time. They were efforts to feel secure in environments where our safety or emotional needs were uncertain.
Later, when we embraced faith, we unintentionally carried these strategies into our spiritual lives. And so, we end up with Christians who love God deeply but cannot find rest. Christians who believe the gospel but live as spiritual orphans.
Christians who trust in salvation but struggle to trust the Father every day.
Trust must be relearned—like a second language returning to memory.
Becoming Childlike Again: Pages 28-29